Today I met a lady that knew a lot about me without even asking. She said God gave her a gift & normally we would call someone like that crazy, but she really knew some personal things about me...not just a bunch of broad assumptions. She prayed for me & I really needed that because I feel like it's selfish to ask people to prayer for my little problems when there are people with way bigger problems who need prayers more than me.
Today I was really feeling lost because I want to feel more comfort in displaying my religious beliefs. I don't want to be a Christian just when it's convenient or use my beliefs as a hyprocrital weapon, I just want to be comfortable. I think being raised as a Catholic has taught me to be reserved when it comes to my beliefs, but the rest comes from me not being active in church for a number of years & being around others who didn't attend church either. Once when I made a statement about praying, one of those people mocked me & said, "What are you getting religion now or something?" I guess religion is not important to that person, huh?
I've just been going to church regularly now for a little over a year & I'm learning & I forgot some stuff, but I'm trying...I'm just scared of being judged. I feel very sensitive about this because it's very important to me & I'm still growing, so criticism affects me more than it usually does. I just want to work on being a better Christian, I love the Lord, I appreciate & recognize everything He has done for me, & I never want to be without Him in my life. I just have to find my own comfort level expressing my beliefs publicly, but I am happy God sent this lady my way. She was the polar opposite of me when it comes to expressing her beliefs in public & that was what I needed. I probably won't get to her level, but I will get to a level that is just perfect for me...& I now I know I'm on the right path & that I have support.
I will go before thee and make the crooked places straight; I will break in pieces the gates of brass and cut in sunder the bars of iron... Isaiah 45:2
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